The Weight of a Thousand Feathers by Brian Conaghan

5*

What do you do when the person you love most in the world asks you to help them die? This is the heart-wrenching moral dilemma 17-year-old Bobby Seed faces when his mother Anne, who is reaching the final stages of Multiple Sclerosis, asks him to end her suffering. For five years, Bobby has witnessed her struggle and decline and has become her primary caregiver, a burden he gladly carries because of his profound love for her. “Funny how no one ever uses the word “love” when discussing my case. I do what I do because she’s my mum; she’s the only one I have, so I wouldn’t mind holding on to her for a bit longer. That pure and that simple.” For Anne, however, the pain, memory loss, and feelings of sadness and humiliation that her son must help with her personal needs add to her despair, to “exist without living.”

During all this time, Bobby also shoulders the responsibility for his 14-year-old brother Danny who is developmentally-delayed. He doesn’t want to tell him that their Mom isn’t going to get better. However, when Anne can no longer communicate clearly and fears she will forget her sons, she makes her decision and asks Billy to tell his brother. Although Danny is slow, he isn’t, in his own words, “stupid” and has already researched the “right to die.”

Despite everything Bobby must juggle, he still wishes he could just be a typical teen without pity and allowances for his behavior. After joining the teen carer support group Poztive, Bobby meets other kids in the same situation, including American Lou who is an enigma. What is his mom suffering from that he won’t share and why does being around him make Bobby tingle? How will Lou’s experiences and potentially unhealthy influence on Bobby affect the major decision he has to make?

Conaghan has gifted us with a story that is life-affirming even in the face of suffering and death. The love between the mother and her sons and between the brothers is intensely moving while, at the same time, full of sarcasm and humor. The descriptions of the disease are written with dignity, honoring both the victim and her sons. There are also several beautiful poetic verses written by Bobby interspersed throughout. (With an Advanced Reader Copy, it’s unclear how they’ll appear in the published book.) This is a valuable and worthy addition to YA literature on death and is essential for any library that serves teens.


I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bloomsbury YA through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.